Mercenary, Kye Cortland, played by Dan Mor, becomes stranded on a deserted moon. And if we’re all smart, we’ll just leave him there…
When it comes to distribution Metrodome play a good game, so they serve us quite the curve ball when they allow such total and utter suckage as Arrowhead to be inflicted upon the world.
I mean, the script may as well been written by a child. The first thing our mercenary does when he crash lands on the alien planet is stumble out onto the terrain with no helmet or breathing apparatus. What the hell? To kicks things off by completely ignoring the no.1 of all basic rules of survival in space travel? It tells me straight away that I’m dealing with an idiot.
And, as expected, the rest of the movie is like being strapped in on that car journey you went on when you were kids that just would not end. The painfully tedious dialogue with our female lead substitutes for that ‘classic’ album that your dad puts on that nobody else wants to hear, but you have to because ‘he’s the driver’.
The special effects are of the corny Asylum variety, but the editor has the good sense to cut to the next shot before things get too pathetic.
In the final shot as our heroic mercenary ventures out to save the others there is a foreboding rumble from the rocky caverns nearby. Is this is a sign of sequel? No, it’s the entire planet crying “Thank fuck, the film’s over!”
LAST WORDS:
The only thing more horrifying than the absolute pile of shit that is this movie is the fact that there was actually a short film version produced four years earlier…and they still thought it was a good idea to make THIS.